Dinner for Schmucks (7/10/10)

Its my first time watching these two on movies and have never watched whatever french sequel there was. And dinner? Erm, I don't see them eating, I don't even see where's the food. Dinning setting, only 20minutes? Though lots of effort were put into making it funny. But its alittle draggy. And it could be funnier. My rating sticks at 3/5. Not my kind of comedy.

The prettiest part about this film is the intro. You'll get to see many small mice models. These models represent the love life between Steve Carell and his ex-wife. They are so cute. Steve plays an idiot in this film. He was knocked down by a car that Paul Rudd was driving. And yet, he didn't even complained. He thought he had to even pay money to settle it, when Paul Rudd was trying to mean that its him that needs to pay to settle knocking him. That was quite funny. Because of that Paul, decided to invite Steve over to his place. And at his place, Steve, fooled with Paul's conversation on the computer. He actually replied a message, giving Paul's address, that was from a girl that had been stalking Paul all these years. A picture of her butt was sent over and he kept it. So when Paul found out about it, Steve told him that he would mend it by chasing the girl away. Unknowingly, Steve's wife appear and he thought that the wife was that girl and he chased the wife away.

When Steve found out that she was his wife, the girl appeared at the door. Paul was so afraid that he hid in his room while steve distracted her and made her throw glasses of wine and breaking everything. It was her way of being naughty in trying to get Paul out of the room. Paul had an important meeting the next day and his wife had to come. But his wife was so angry that she left him and so Steve brought the stalker lady to Paul's meeting. Paul was 'forced' to proposed to the lady and then the wife arrived at the scene. It was a big disaster. Its difficult to describe it here but you got to watch it to see it yourself. The stalker lady even wracked up Paul's car. Dinner for Schmucks is an event whereby all the losers in life, like steve would be invited to show off their stupidity and be laughed at. So the company which Paul works at has colleges bringing other weird people, like someone who thinks he can control people and some how, steve stupidly thinks he is being controlled. Paul felt bad told Steve the truth that he was being invited over to be an idiot, so Steve took is revenge back. Watch and see how it goes. It was quite funny, but childish at the same time.

At the end, Steve managed to rescue Paul's relationship with his girlfriend. Worth watching!!

Detective Dee (30/9/10)

My review is based on an English speaking point of view, where Chinese is a total foreign language to me and I have to read every single subtitle.

It's a movie based on one of china's history. It begins with one of the officials in the building who was suddenly burned into flames from the inside of his body into ashes within minutes. So, investigation began and the head of the buddha construction, played by Tony Leung, was suspected and of course in the end, he was the culprit. Li Bing Bing, was sent by Carina Lau to spy on Andy Lau. It was like a fight at first and it turn into love scenes. Weird? Yeah. Li Bing Bing had to remove her top to show her back for the camera. It was targeted to complete in one day but they took 4 for that particular filming shot. The storyline was so complicated that I think its better for you to watch than I describe it here.

Overall its quite a good film. But can anyone tell me if the Buddha statue was real? I doubt so right? My rating is 3.5/5.

Eat Pray Love (7/10/10) maybe Sleep too..

Do not watch this film. Do it at your own risk and tell me how much you regret doing so.

Firstly, let me warn you. This movie is 2hours plus!!! Yeah, I know it looks like those kind of 1.5 hours movie. It's alittle boring from guys point of view. Three words title, Eat, Love and Pray are three scenes shot in 3 different countries, Italy, India and Bali for the above respective reasons. This film is more for older woman, like 35 years and above. For guys, you can simply skip this. Whatever I'm writing now may not be reliable as I have not read the book. My rating is 2.5/5. 1.5 hours for such shows are enough to bore you already.

This is a movie, so Julia Roberts get to be approached by people on her tour. It started of with her having marital problems and decided to divorce and take a break by traveling round the world solo. In Italy, a Swedish lady saw how Julia was a loser ordering a cup of coffee, that she decided to help Julia order in Italian and introduce her to all her friends. Its nice way to learn the italian way of speaking, which is using their hands for expression, just like Singapore huh? She got to try delicious pasta and pizza.

In Indian, she went for mediation sessions at the temples and obviously she cant understand a single thing. So it was lucky for her on her first visit, a western man who was also in the session, spotted her and hang out with her. He confessed to her all his past regrets and forgive them. He got her to deal with herself there and then too. But why do they have to film India with lots of rubbish on the street and people travelling in cars that are so old? Is that racism? You tell me. You'll get to see indian customs wedding too.

Finally in Bali, she met up with a fortune teller whom she first saw him last year. He couldn't remember her and his actions were really cute. He encouraged her to not be afraid to love again. She then met a man, whom knocked her down while driving, turned out to be her lover in the end. There was a struggle for her whether to go on a honeymoon with him but she made the choice to do so after that. I don't even think he deserves her. Don't even look matching. Her ex husband was still a better match.

Charlie St Cloud (30/9/10)

This is definitely a girl's show. Because it Zac Eforn's job here is just for him to look good. The camera keep zooming in on him so that you girls can appreciate his facial features like his eyes and body. Which for me, from a guy's point of view, hmm.. you can skip this film.

Actually the marketing for this trailer, did it really well to make it seems like its a really good film, mainly becoz of the music. Its a romantic drama. My rating is 3/5

If you're thinking, why is the name charlie st cloud, that's the name of the character, Zac is playing.

Its about Zac, feeling guilty of causing his brother's accident that he made a promise to meet his brother, whom have died, at a certain place everyday at sunset. So each time the bell goes off for sunset, he'll rush to that place in the forest. At the same time, he spotted a girl whom he falls fall. She is about to embark on her sailing journey down the Atlantic ocean alone. In the movie, she was found by him one day having a wound on her head and she was sitting alone in the garden. She went over to to his home to get cleaned up and he invited her for dinner that night. They went out into the woods and slept till morning. She likes to play this come and find me game. In actual fact, the 'come and find me' meant something. It was her spirit that had been entertaining him all these while. Actually she was lost out in the ocean and the come and find me meant to hint to him that she was lost and needed help. So he grabbed a boat and went out with her coach in search for her. When they finally found her, true enough, she needed medical assistant. While making the choice to sail out to find her, he had to battle with the decision to go back and see his brother at sunset. But he decided to forget about the past and move on to find her instead. There was really some touching scenes there.

After being traumatized by this incident, she didn't wana try and sail out anymore. And all that happened between them, about her having dinner at his place was all in her dreams. That seemed very weird because they only had one conversation before she sailed out.

The movie ended with her making the effort to try again with Zac.

I love phillip Morris (R21) (30/9/10)

Mis-conception corrected: Jim Carrey plays a bisexual role and not a gay role in this film.

I would give around of an applause to firstly, Ewan McGregor for being able to bring out the gay role really well. Lots of demand was on him. His behavior, responds, actions, speech, thoughts and words were all to bring out the "gayness" in a guy or some would just say feminine. For e.g, when a bad news came upon him that Jim Carrey, his lover was about to die, he grasped his to his mouth and tears role down his eyes. He ran like a girl, but yet not so girly too. I only remember him from the recent film ghostwriter.

Jim Carrey's acting was as usual, still the same comedian way, except that he has grown much older. The best acting for both him and ewan in the film was when they had a chat at the table in prison and Jim was like reassuring Ewan that Jim would always be there for him. Just look at their actions, I mean in Singapore, this is definitely not common, but they did it so well. They were like so drawn to each other in their eyes and the words that came out were almost natural; like love a first sight for a guy and a girl, except that in a gay world, it seems the closeness between the two parties can be drawn to each other faster. Sometimes girls do have barriers that's why. What's mind blowing for me and all straight men is that how can they kiss for the cameras?? I mean seriously. I can't do that. It's as good as telling a nerdy virgin girl to strip naked for the cover of playboy magazine. Well, that's how I see it.

I did the misconception at the start was because the film started with him having a family, which means wife and kids. He and his wife were happily married and had sex regularly. It was only one day when he got into an accident when he was driving his car then he regretted not doing what he wanted to do in his life. And he felt that what he wanted was to love a man. So, that's how he started. Much of the scene took place in the prison, because he has been going in and out of jail due to him lying, cheating and getting caught and escaping by trying to get himself into the hospital, even to the point of bribing the jail medics that he is gay, by also dying his jail yellow uniform to green to look like the jail doctors. So, Jim's life was like a lie.

Watch more to find out. But if you're not into this gay thingy, then it might just be mind blowing to you with their actions. So don't be shock. I would give 3/5 and recommended. Full marks for acting.

Villon's Wife (5/9/10)

Its a Japanese drama. I find this film really weird. Because it begins by showing how bad the husband is towards the wife, bad in terms of bad in attitude and treatment. He possess this heck care attitude even when the wife is so patient and forgiving and have to bear taking care of the kid alone.

It starts of with him stealing money from the cafe house which he usually go to for a drink. And the way he steals is like wth.. The owner was counting her money in terms of hundred dollars cash. When she finished with her counting and kept it in her drawer, he calmly walk towards the drawer, push her aside and take the money and walked out. Of course the owners, followed him to his house and kindly ask for their money back. Japanese really have this polite culture. You should watch to see how kindly it was done. But he is bad, he dashed out a dagger to threatened them and escape. His wife invited them in and serve them tea and they even had a good chat. This is not at all like Singapore.

The wife decided to take the responsibility to repay them back by working for their cafe till the money is returned. And because the wife is attractive, lots of man turned up everyday to drink and by just asking her to pour drinks for them, she gets lots of tip. Somehow there was a guy who often goes to the cafe to drink to find the husband, who is a top writer, falls in love with the wife. He sends her back everyday on the train. Meanwhile, the husband has his own mistress and they wanted to go on a love suicide. So they took pills and drunk themselves. Somehow they didn't managed to die but he was charged for attempting suicide on himself and his mistress. While he was in jail, the wife still got a good lawyer for him and managed to get him out.

The wife is really forgiving and still said a line at the end of the movie which means something like as long as we are happy together. I forgot the actual line.

Its a slow moving, 2 hours film. So don't watch unless you have spare time and cash. But its only shown in Picture House. 2.3/5 Its M18, only because of one small sex scene. That's really stupid.

Girl$ (2/9/10)

You hardly see Hk films being really bold to produce a R21 movie which might display less censorship than some of the American films. The girls do bare their breast.
Typical audience in this film are the dirty old chinese men. Because there's lots of sex in here.

The film begins with a girl being paid to have sex with a guy, and she was handcuffed to a bar above her. And throughout the film, handcuffs seems to be always used or demand a higher price from the girl when she uses it. I guess Hong kong people love such fantasies. The sad thing is that the girl ended up getting killed after sex, got chopped up and disposed of in a bag. When you watch this, just remind yourself its a movie, because you'll get to see the arms and torso disarm with blood. But of course, they are fake.

Why do sometimes man kill the girl after sex? From the movie, it seems like the girl may not be really into it but rather forced to perform, so its like she's getting fucked while her pussy is not wet enough and its really painful till she knocks out. Or maybe, she wasn't willing to perform a certain sex act and put up a struggle. He gets violent and force her to succumb which in the end kills the girl. It portrays that since man has paid, so he gets to do whatever he wants with the girl, not caring whether she's in pain or enjoying the sex. That's really selfish shit.

There is a really gross scene where the guy has some really weird fetish like setting up some sort of a sex toy that comprises of 5 balls, larger than ping pong balls in a straight line, wrapped in a net. The balls are definately too big for the girl's (Una Lin) vagina and yet he still force them in. In that particular scene, the girl was lucky enough to runaway and escape to the toilet and locked herself in it. She was cry after that and really find it difficult to walk. I'm surprised at these disgusting fantasies that Hong Kong people have in sex.

Basically the story is about 4 teenage girls played by: Bonnie Xian, Michelle Wai, Venus Wong, Una Lin. Venus Wong is the nerdy one getting materialistic over buying branded bags and stuff that result to her tempted to prostitute her bodies to earn quick cash. But the good thing is that she is very picky with her clients, so even she agreed to meet them, she'll give a call to the guy when she's near by to observe who is the one meeting her first. If he turns her off, the guy will be left waiting there.

There is a scene where it shows one of the reason guys wana handcuff the girl is so that they can film themselves having sex with the girl. Filming is probably another fetish. So when the girl(Michelle Wai) realized she was being filmed, it was too late and in that scene she tries to snatch the camera, but the guy push her away, hitting her stomach in the end which left her lying on the bed helplessly. She was really sad and her friends comforted her and decided to get back on the guy.
One of her friend(Bonnie Xian) set him up, tricking him that she would prostitute herself and while they were about to start the session, the rest of the friends appear at the scene, tie and beat him up. They went to his house, delete the film evidence and threw his computer out of the window. But unfortunately, it was still found on the internet and her boyfriend saw the clip where she was involved. Her boyfriend left her.

Bonnie Xian acted as a girl who pays guys for sex and the tip could go as low as 10HK and did not always receive payments from men. Michelle Wai who was acting as their agent did not know Bonnie Xian was paying for sex and wanted 25% of her amount she receives. However the truth was later revealed. When the girls go for a HIV test, Una Lin was the one who got the aids.

Bold move from a Hong Kong film. But recommended only, if you have spare time or spare cash. 3/5

Stool Pigeon (26/8/10)

Stool pigeon, meaning a police informer, is exactly what Nicholas Tse's role is in this movie.
If you are not aware, hong kong films are best known for filming police and crime dramas.
The story begins with the police using a spy to close down on a group of drug dealers. So when the drug dealers found out that there was a spy, the deal was off and the spy was slashed with knife and beaten terribly. However, the police rushed in and he escaped. The spy now cannot return home or be seen by the gang anymore or else he'll be beaten up again. Therefore, he turned into a beggar and have this past traumatic beaten up scene always keeping him in fear psychologically.
Nicholas Tse, who is about to be released from jail, was spotted by Nick Cheung, the police officer for his brave criminal past. When Nicholas was released from jail, he stole a car to try and help his sister, who was trapped in a gang to get away. Nick knew about it and told Nicholas that he could get away with stealing a car if he decides to be the stool pigeon. Nicholas agree with a fee of 1million dollars, to help Nick get the man he wanted arrested from the gang.
So, one afternoon, when the gang was planning to do a gold shop robbery, Nicholas got the police prepared, but however just not know the exactly location. So the gang managed to sneak away with the stolen gold bars and brought back to melt them immediately. When the police found out the gold had be melted, it is as good as evidence was lost. They can't prove that the gold was stolen from that gold shop. So Nicholas still couldn't get his money after going through all that trouble. The lady from the gang, played by Lunmei Kwai was with Nicholas to helped him get a doctor when he was injured. However, some gang members who managed to fled the scene during the police chase managed to tap on the doctor that Kwai called and got him to take them to where Nicholas was. So, the couple had to flee and lots of bloody slashing and fighting at the end. Nick was back in the end to help. Nicholas died in the end. But Kwai survived.
During the show, Nick had his own fair share of problems in his private life. He's current dance teacher is his ex-wife who doesn't know it because she got into an accident and lost her memory about him.

3.5/5. Recommended for Hong kong film lovers. Generally a rather intellectual film. Only some scenes with high action.
Answer this: Why was Nick arrested in the end? I think he should not be. Some how sometimes. Life can really be unfair. I would pity him.

I LOVE YOU TOO is soooo boring (16/9/10)

Don't watch it unless you're
1) An Australian or just love the Australian accent
2) Like romantic comedies which only can get you to smile and not laugh.
3) An older folk.

This is the first time I've ever seen an Australian production. Oh, how boring, how old fashion it is.
The film starts off well in a clubbing scene, where two guys try to pick girls up. One of the girls, Alice, who finally got attached with Jim, only gets to receive a Commitment ring instead of a proposal for marriage. She was from London and stayed with him in Australia for a year and 3 months and only gets that ring. He has never once said I Love you to her before. So, on his birthday, when he gave her the commitment ring, she decides to break up and make plans to return to London. He was so devastated that he slept in a dwarf's car. Not only that, he was clumsy enough to crash it back and forth at its parking lot. The dwarf, obviously only played by Peter Dinklage, decides to politely invited him to his home for coffee to get the cops over. However, Jim managed to touch the dwarf's soft spot by asking him about the beautiful letter to Francesca, who is a model.

When the police arrived and decides to do a walk about in the house, when the dwarf, Charlie, declared that it was empty, the police found Jim even though Charlie repeated aloud. "I've got nothing to HIDE". This was trying to get Jim to hide. But he didn't and Charlie make up by saying actually they are gay.
Jim tries to get Charlie to write for him a letter to Alice. But Charlie refuses and says it has to come from his own and one day when he copied Charlie's letter and presented it to Alice, Alice thought it was good at first but when question him about it, she realized he copied.
Charlie and Blake, Jim's good friend work it out to try and get Alice back till the very last minute. Blake, got a cab drive to drive really slowly on the way to the airport and even take a piss half way at the bushes and stopped at a certain bridge where Alice saw Jim, rolling down a banner saying I love you too. Alice was touched and decided to marry Jim. Other stuff helped when Charlie brought Alice all the scraps of torn letters that Jim tries to write.
In the end, Charlie died, but he get to fulfill his dream of meeting Francesca in person.

One funny scene:
Jim was having a war with words in a bar with some guys and Charlie came in. And the guys said, "I thought you would bring a little help with you but you came to offer a help to the little". Hahaha.

Anyway if you're bored reading my story its because, the plot is sooo boring. Only watch if you have xtra cash or time to spend. 2.5/5

Resident Evil: Afterlife 3D (10/9/10)

You're a loser if you don't catch this in 3D.

Speaking from a Resident Evil virgin here:

Because I'm telling you that the effects in this film is as comparable to Avatar.
From the start of the film, the words pop out into you. The weapons that were launched, the blood that splashes and the rain that falls, its all towards you. Seriously.

Its the first time I see a slow moving action film, with lots of slow motion scenes in it. The purpose is to bring out the best in the 3D effects. The reason why the effects is so good, its because, Paul Anderson, the director, used James Cameron's camera system. James Cameron is the director of Avatar and Titanic.
The film begins with Milla's many smart duplicates, entering into Albert's territory and hunt him down. Unfortunately, he escaped and started to capture people from a ship and hold them hostages. Milla, started to hunt down for her friends. She flew a plane and made a crazy landing on top of the building whereby any more less brakes applied would leave her falling off the cliff of the building to the ground full of zombies. On top of that building were some people, seeking for help from the air transport. And these people thought help has arrive. But no, Milla, is also looking for help herself from the zombies. The group split up, one group went to get the weapons which they had to dive into the waters to get to the next level. The other group went to get a vehicle. One of them in the group was selfish and shot another one dead and took the plane on top of the building and left to the ship, which was supposed to be a safety ground.
The rest of the group then settle to making a way out with a tunnel created from the zombies that had tried to attack them.From the tunnel, they made a way with a raft to the ship and in the ship, is where the battle begins again. They began rescuing the hostages and finally met Albert who was waiting for them there. The film ends with the hostage rescued, but tones of enemy planes began flying over. We wait for the next sequal of Resident Evil...


The best 3D effect in the film:
Milla and her friend battling with the giant zombie that used a huge swinging weapon. When the zombie was about to die, it swings the huge weapon towards them and it really felt like it hit the audience.

Honestly, this is my first squeal. So I judge in comparison to the previous few.

Recommended if you love 3D movies. 4/5 star.

King of fighters (26/8/10)

You can skip this movie. Unless you're a fan of KOF or you're simply just curious to find out. Even if you're a fan, this movie is not impressive at all. The exciting part is left for the last 1/2 an hour of the show. The rest of it is mainly conversation and some light dramas. Compared to the other similar game show, Tekken, Tekken is much better than this. The fighting skill is not even good. Only snapshots of kicks and punches are seen. No real fighting quality.

NOT RECOMMENDED. Though the title seems tempting. 2.5/5.

BABIES round the world (9/9/10)

The film begins with two about 1 year old babies (brothers), using a small stone to hit a bigger stone and from there, how the baby brothers react to each other and turn it into a kind of argument but of course, babies don't argue but 1 left crying and left the scene, while the other act as if nothing just happened and when on with his stone hitting.
There was a scene which shows the baby getting delivered with its umbilical cord still intact.
Its a film about the reaction/experience that the baby go through from an infant till they could stand up and walk, which is about a year and a half.
Experiences:
1) There was a scene where a newly born baby was so so tightly wrapped and tied that you would never imagine how he would be able to move at all. And this is done by a hospital nurse and the baby is soundly asleep. Maybe the wrapping was really comfortable.
2) Having two babies, one on each side and the nomad mum has to breast feed both at the same time. Yes, you will see lactation. Don't be surprise that the nomad mums remain topless all the time because their babies love sucking the milk out of them very often. But in other parts of the world, the baby may not appreciate breast milk and the mum has to squirt out milk on the baby's face to force it to drink, just like cum. Really.
3) The babies growing up in modern cities, seems to be more pampered and afraid of animals than the babies growing up in nomads or country side. For e.g. there was a seen where an american baby gets so uncomfortable seeing the house cat just behind it. And when the japanese parents take their babies out on the trolley to the zoo, the babies, cry when they see the tiger or gorillas. But when the nomad babies, were comfortable with the huge dogs around.
There is a scene where the american baby simply gives the parent every peel he made from the banana, like the parent was the rubbish bin. And he peeled the banana entirely before eating.

The movie is really good, because its educational and every woman and family man should watch it. It so well put such that there were so many different scenes about a particular theme and being compared and contrasted without words the reaction, experience and lifestyle the baby go through. But if you are in for just action film, dont watch it. You'll be bored. 3.5/5 star.

Vamipres Suck(s to the core) (2/9/10)

Don't watch this stupid, lame-ass, loser and gross shit-ass parody!
I watched this just to get a real angry critique to slam it.

The ploy of the story is basically to spoof the entire twilight series with canadian, alice in wonderland and the black eye peas jokes inside.
But if you are a real anti-twilight fan but yet still sneak into twilight films to check out how lame they are, then this film will definitely satisfy you.

Edward, will be called a constipated and pale looking guy. When he thought that Bella was dead, he wanted to kill himself by exposing himself to the sun and when that happen, the sun turned into moon and if you remember, that Chinese guy from Hangover, he screamed like ,"Oh, is that newmoon." And then the "moon" turned into something and he was like," Oh, is that eclipse." That was alittle funny but really lame. Jacob, will totally be like a loser, having long hair, weird round nose and wolf-hairy body, can't resist his temptation to chase a cat when he sees it, gets on his fours and act like a wolf and when he flies in the air, he turns into a miniature terrier.

There's one really funny part where Jacob's pack came out and you should know that the guys would not be having their top on and they wore the same blue denim bottoms, they did a really gay dance suddenly. It was funny because they were supposed to attack the vampire and they were having serious faces when suddenly it turned into a dance.

The lingerie suit which Bella wore had lights on and were blinking. That's lame. Edward, simply crash her up the roof to prevent her from kissing him.

Its gross because you would see love ones simply kicking someone's balls, beating someone else's up even though the victim is on a wheelchair and call that fun. That's typical American. You'll see legs and arms being pulled out, blood spurting out as vampires break the human skin and etc...

Not Recommended! 2/5 ratings. Just watch it online if you really want to.